Scary Hobo Clown is back in town
And he's with his babe! Butterfly Barbie! HAW HAW HAW
(How do you like my new laugh? I have stolen it from Bruce, it's not as easy to type as HA HA HA HA HA... but not as insipid as LOL - pause to look up insipid on webster.com - I'll take definition #2 Chuck, for $500. -- 2 : lacking in qualities that interest, stimulate, or challenge : dull, flat
So, this weekend was the family christmas party, lots of fun. I left a little late. Not chronologically late, I mean I waited a little too long to leave and was unable to avoid the melt down....... times 3! It started with the 3 year old, and morphed into a full out triple torrent (yes, in case you are wondering I still have webster.com open... as well as thesaurus.com... haw haw haw)
So, I exited the party, with three screaming, crying children... who.... were asleep before I hit the end of the driveway! lucky me. THEN... I got to thinking. I seem to be the first one to leave all the time, I wonder if they were talking about me.... Then I got to thinking more... who cares, 'cause .... I'm the one with the blog! HAW HAW HAW --ok, I'm done with the HAW HAW... I'm going back to HA HA... because it sounds better in my head when I type it
Couple of funny things.
First, funny... at the company holiday party, I had my digital camera. I took a ton of pictures of the guests. One of the couples were our companies sales reps from Panasonic. They were a cute couple and I took a picture of them. It was nice and I displayed it for them on the LCD of my camera and said, "Look at this great picture I took of you.... You could use it for Christmas cards"
They looked at my camera..... they looked closer at my camera, I shoved it in their faces and said, "Really, it's a great picture for your holiday cards"... they laughed a little embarrassed laugh and tried to escape from me.... I really really wanted confirmation that it was a great picture and I shoved it in their faces again, until finally the guy turned to steer his wife away and said, "I don't think our family would appreciate a naked barbie doll on the holiday cards.."
Slowly I turned the camera towards myself and saw.....
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA AH --- OH MAN..... I burst out laughing and went around telling everyone else the story and showing the picture... 'cause I thought that was so funny... then I noticed there were a number of people really avoiding me! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA I followed them a bit, trying to explain about the blog, and Rosie and all.... I honestly did you know about how I was collecting debris for the next photo montage of my dogs toy destruction... but it fell on dead ears. OH, tooooooo funny!
Yesterday I created my final Christmas Masterpiece.... a lovely ensemble of ingenuity and elegance....
Realizing that my friends Mary and Jane wouldn't appreciate the Gift in a Jar of Taco Chili bean Soup, or the Home Made Granola (I like to call Natures Broom) I had an epiphany. I said to myself, "Self, what does your friend Mary like?" The answer..... "Likes herself a nice bottle of wine" So..... I went to Micheals Arts and Crafts.... procured tiny little swarovski crystals and glass paint, and I hand painted them some festive sparkly wine glasses.... I am sooooo proud of myself.
Of course, you should have seen me.
First, I downloaded my inspiration which was a very intricate and beautiful hand painted wineglass by some artist in California... and after the first brush stroke on the glass... I realized .... I was no artist.... So, I basically took the festive colored paint and dotted all the glasses and glued the crystal in among the dots... THUS.... making the glass sparkly and festive! Very Very nice.
NOW.... I did some research on the glass paints.. and it is pretty funny that the paints say: "Has been found in California to cause birth defects" Yeah, funny right. Only in California! HA HA HA HA Well.... I'm not in California, now am I... ha ha ha Anyway, I didn't paint up to the point where someones lips would come in contact with the paint, and I didn't paint the inside of the cup, so I think... we will be ok. AND... According to everything I have read, these beauties will be gorgeous for years to come, provided they are hand washed.
Pictures? nope. I already wrapped them. BUT I will tell you this.... Mary is scared. I told her I just wrapped her gift and she said, "Oh, you didn't have to get me anything..." To which I replied, "I didn't buy you anything... I made you something"
silence
silence
silence
Breaking the silence I said, "And it doesn't contain oatmeal or beans..." She brightened up, but is still scared.
Today is Christmas Eve. The kids are very excited. I love Christmas. My ex-husband will be coming over in the morning to dispense his gifts, then hopefully he will be hitting the road pretty early. AND..... in 1 week. I will officially be.... 1 year older.. Let me see. I have to recalculate my age.... Hmmmmmmmm officially I'll be 43. However, since I don't feel a day over 33... ok, Maybe I feel a day over, especially when I have to go up and down a flight of stairs several times, like I did when I had to hide all of the wrapped Christmas gifts... but other than that ... I don't feel 43. AND.... I don't look 43... if I'm standing 20 feet away... with the sun behind me..... so bright you have to squint to see me... and I'm wearing a baseball hat......... and sunglasses... under the right conditions.... I'm a real hot babe!
OK... that's about it. Today I am going to try to dodge the "cold bullet" that has pierced my anti-bacterial/Tylenol stronghold. All three kids woke up this morning with slight fevers and runny noses... Well, actually my youngest (aka The Snot Bullet) has been liquid for several days. The other 2 just manifested this morning. Well, that isn't going to stop me from my Christmas Eve festivities. nope.
Have happy holidays!
Hugs all around
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