The Barber Pranks Rank

As a parent of three young children my days are generally filled with laughter and joy... (ok, maybe some yelling too)

Today my almost 4 year old (whom I will refer to as THE BARBER) --you need only to go back several weeks to view the pictures of her hair cutting ability to know from whence the name has come. Anyway, my almost 4 year old perpetrated a prank... on a scale that has thus far not been experimented with by either of her older sisters.

It was clever, it was diabolical... and it had no specific target.

I'm no child psychologist... but I think at this age... pranks and jokes ... even the best thought out... are generally perpetrated with immediate gratification in mind...

The Barber has always been .... more devious.... more cunning... but she is oh so cute! It's a diabolical combination!

So, today The Barber perpetrated a prank that only I (as the only adult in the house) and now you (as my confidantes) will see it for what it is..... true genius.

Here's what happened:

My almost 7 year old went potty.

After a few moments she started screaming
(the kind I scream you'd expect if someone looked over to the left and noticed a tarantula sitting on their shoulder)

She started yelling The Barbers Name...
and she was laughing hysterically!

Turns out.

The Barber took all of the wipes out of the wipe container and replaced it with............. water.

My almost 7 year old felt the weight of the container and thought it was full of wipes, she struggled with the lid and finally opened it... with a splash.

That my friend... was a trap.

Yup. She'll be 4 this July. I'm in big big trouble.

Have a great day!

sshhwwweeeewwwwww I feel much better

I just read the update on the Dysfunctional Office blog or "DOB" and I finally feel like I can wait for the next installment... And, while we wait... I have a little something for Rosie or DOB fame...

I know it's not a very big picture... but I was thinking you could right click... save it to your My Pictures... then use it.... as your desktop wallpaper.

Unless you think it will just remind you.

Well, we wait with bated breath for some entertaining tales of DOB yesteryear. In the meantime let me give you an update about the gang here at Rosie the wonder dog house.

First... the winner of the Name the Online Bookstore is....... (drum roll please)

ATTIC STAIRS BOOKSHOP (or did you know that already)... hhhmmmmm I think you did. Now I'm just working on the graphics for a logo! THEN T-SHIRTS! I LOVE T-SHIRTS!

So, as soon as I have some free time, I'll be putting the website together, hopefully that will be soon because I now have about 700 books... maybe even 1000... Yes, I know... it's a veritable book explosion!

Here's what happened. A local Friends of the Library group had their annual book sale.. which was huge and they didn't come close to selling all of the books. For some reason it occurred to me that there were a lot of books and a couple of weeks after the sale I called to see what they did with the books they didn't sell... and it turns out..THEY WERE GIVING THEM AWAY!

So, my minions and I descended upon the library and got a ton of books. My brother went during the day and painstakingly open and shut hundreds of books looking for first editions. I went the following day with my friend and her daughter and we took literally a whole van load.

I would have taken more if I could... because yesterday the 1000's of books that were left over... were going to the dump.

(a little reminiscent of Fahrenheit 451 if you ask me)

Today I am taking the kids to my ex-husbands house... so that he can spend the day with them. Normally he would wander up to my house about mid-morning and he would return them to me by mid-afternoon... but this week he requested an "overnight" which... I have come to realize is code for: I want you to bring them here, so I will propose the unthinkable so that you will compromise and bring them to me so I don't have to do all the driving.

Somehow, I think if he actually said, would you bring the kids here this Sunday and I'll bring them back... it would be easier on my nerves then the stress of having starts and stops of talking to someone that constantly contradicts his previous statement.

Talking to my ex-husband is like watching retrospective film footage of the president on The Daily Show. You know, where they show a clip of the president saying something during his first term in office, and then saying the opposite in his second term of office. The difference is, that my ex-husband does that in the same sentence... nay... the same breath!

Him: "I want to pick up the kids on Saturday so they can stay over night"
Me: "Well, I'm not sure, do you have beds?"

Him: "Yeah, I have three beds, 'cause I have that trundle bed"
Me: "Well, trundle bed makes 2 beds"

Him: "Ok Yeah, I have 2 beds"
Me: (thinking)

Me: "Are you the only one living there?"
Him: "What are you crazy? You better just get all that out of your imagination, I am the only one living in this house. "

Me: "It's not my imagination, you offered rooms to someone I know and told him that you were already renting out some of the rooms"
Him: "oh Well, I was just thinking about it, it never really happened"

So you see... the life of a liar doesn't change much.

So, it's 5:40am. I'm going to hop in the shower... then wake up the kids and we are going on a mini-road trip to his house... I will be depositing them on his door step around 8:00am. (all going well) and he can spend the day with them.

I know you will all agree.... OVERNIGHT is out of the question.

AND that... is my update. Spring is right around the corner... although my weather.com splash screen says 26 degrees... the high will be 48, which is almost 50, which is much closer to 60-70 which is SUMMER TIME WEATHER!

OK... I gots to go!

Have a great day!

Dueling blogs - baaw baaw baaw

First, let me just put your mind at ease.... baaw baaw bawww baaw (that my friend, is the written sound of a banjo... plucking the first few notes of the infamous... dueling banjos) - (which, as another side bar, never fails to remind me of the movie deliverance, which also reminds me of the time I drove through some mountains in Tennessee... which in turn reminds me of the 2:00am "Feed the Children" info-mercial... which brings me back home... with the face of my hair trimming 3.5 year old who never fails to look like the little urchin sitting on the front porch of the Appalachian shack)

Moving right along....

I am writing today, because I am jonsing.... for a dysfunctional office update. When last we heard from our heroine (is that how you spell it if it's a drug or is that a female protagonist?) Anyway, Rosie (not to be confused with The Wonder Dog) was investigating the theft of her Humongous burger...

and


and

and

that was it.

done.

I need to know..... did a new burger miraculously appear on your desk? Did Enrico Suave (or whatever the dudes name is) 'fess up to his slide to the dark side? AND... more importantly did Paris Hilton figure out if she was still wearing her protection. These are all questions I need answered! (keeping in mind, I didn't ask about the downstairs bathroom... of the fur ball puking cat)

And So.... with no remorse... I create this blog entry SPECIFICALLY to get you to create one!

To those that want to know... check out the dysfunctional office here!
http://dysfunctional-office.blogspot.com/

Don't worry... sob sob... I know it's pretty entertaining... sob... It's not like you won't come back to me... right? At least once in a while... and read... my ... mutterings? right?

Just Kidding.

Their blog is a HOOT!

A MUST SEE

have a great day!

The Happy Booker

Well, thank you all for taking my little "Name the bookstore survey" -(which is still located on the right hand side... if you are so inclined) The winner by a landslide is:

Attic Stairs Book Shop

NOW.... for the logo

I am currently accepting logo submissions... and you can email me at atticstairsbookshop@gmail.com

You can hand draw a logo and scan it and send it... You can computer generate a logo and email it... whatever you do, it has to be original art... so I don't get in trouble when I use it...

AND THE WINNER GETS.....

That's right folks... The winner gets... A free T-shirt displaying their logo and the book store website!

A FREE T-SHIRT! I know, I know, it's hard to believe... that a simple thing like helping me brand my online book store would provide you with such riches... but it's true!

Here's how it's going to work!


I will be accepting logo submissions for a while... when I have collected enough... I will put it to a vote. You can submit as many as you want! You don't have to submit pictures, your logo suggestion can just be the arrangement of the name "Attic Stairs Bookshop" or... there can be a picture... doesn't matter to me.

Meanwhile, I will be working out my own idea for the logo.

Anyway... After my book room underwent a stunning transformation... I am very excited to get my books all listed on the different services. Based on your responses for my "Name the bookstore" survey, it seems like most people go right to amazon for their reading needs. Did you know about alibris? or Biblio? these are websites that specialize in out of print books.

Anyway, I have to go refill my cuppa coffee.

OH... shout out to B - who is under the weather... and as he put it... my household must be doing well... because he seem to be sick whenever we are not. Looks like we won't get over to see his new digs until the summer time! HA HA HA AHA


OH... we planted seeds... and aside from a minor flood (cause by an over zealous 4 year old and a water can) the plants appear to be doing very well. Now I need to prepare a couple of flower beds for the ---over 400 seeds we planted!

Fortunately, my sister will be taking some of the seeds back to her house to planting... I hope!

My windowsill apple tree is doing well, it is over an inch and a half! The kids were so excited when they saw that the seed had actually started growing... My 4 year old was especially joyous and happily informed me that we would save a lot of money this year buying apples... I had to explain how slowly trees grow... from seed...

That's it!

We are all well... Life is good! Spring is around the corner... Summer is swiftly approaching...

Have a great day!

before and after picture

BEFORE

AFTER

BEFORE

AFTER

BEFORE

AFTER

MORE AFTER

STILL MORE AFTER

I hope you enjoyed my little pictorial. This is all thanks to CLOSET-EXPERTS... Located on the web at http://www.closet-experts.com/ They give free estimates over the phone, and they serve all of New Jersey!

This is my new bookstore home... although I need to increase my inventory and will probably need more shelves..atleast I can find what I have.. and as most of you know.. I have several other rooms I can fill up! Bwaaaaaa haaaaaa haaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaa

Believe it or not, I only have about 90 of these books listed... and I have about... oh... 300 I need to get listed. I just downloaded the free trial version of booktrakker. (http://www.booktrakker.com/) and I spent a very pleasant 45 minutes chatting with the tech support guy Andy. I think his software is going to work very well for me... I'm hopeful it will run on Vista.... did you hear that sound? That's me crossing my fingers! HA HA AH HA AH AH AH

I hope you enjoyed the before and after pictures as much as I enjoy walking into that room and being able to find the book I just sold!

Have a great day! Don't forget to visit my ebay store... and VOTE on the used store name, so i can build my website!

Talk to you later
Happy Holiday! ah, heck....screw being politically correct... I'm going out on a limb and wishing you a HAPPY EASTER.

New Survey!

Click this link to participate!

http://www.polldaddy.com/s/FC20D854BD25F947/

Long Time No Hear... or write

OK... sorry.

I have been SUPER busy. Went to a KICK BUTT book sale, where all the books were in great condition and very inexpensive... AND... I have been working like crazy to get them listed on ebay.. but it seems like it is a snails pace... considering I have (no exageration) over atleast 100 more books to list... but probably more like 200... I am trying to come up with the easiest way to get all the books listed .....

http://stores.ebay.com/New-Jersey-Garage-Sale

Couple of things... funny. B used my blog as an example of a blog in a workshop he ran... that's pretty funny, especially since the last entry in the blog was the ... nose plug entry. I'm actually afraid to re-read that entry... I can tell you this. it was written during a time when I was under diress..

Anyway, I'm much better now. no plug.

The kids are all healthy... the dog is well... the living room is clean, the clothes are folded and the pizza box is 1/2 full. Life is good!

Tomorrow Closet-experts (www.closet-experts.com) will be working on my spare room that currently houses my book inventory to provide me with shelves and a shipping station. I have taken some before pictures... although... I believe you will remember the before pictures of yesteryear......

(the screen should be getting fuzzy... and what's that... the picture starts to resolve... it's wall to wall.... CLEAN CLOTHES THAT NEED FOLDING!)
HA HA HA HA HA AH

yes, I may hold the guiness book of world records for the most titles for the spare room. it is currently, the spare room, the kids computer room, my book inventory room and previously the laundry-waiting-to-be-folded room.

Hey, who needs a big house, when we have.... words.

Ok, several other things

remember my daughter who cut her hair... you will NEVER believe what happened.

The day after she cut her hair bangs down to her scalp (not the week after, not a couple of weeks after... THE DAY AFTER) she got her picture in the local newspaper.

Yes, that's right. My two youngest were caught at the local fun fair creating sand art... and my youngest hair design was in full and close up view.... this paper is intent on creating memories! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

I recently reconnected with a high school friend. She has a 3 year old daughter who enjoys playing with my kids so it's been nice and fun to have someone around that I haven't seen in a while. Incidently, we have plans to work on the book store together, it will give us something to work on and help that we both have different schedules and abilities!

Now.... I have been thinking. In this day an dage... Hip names are just as powerful as product... I was thinking of the name of my online books store..... what do you think.

NJ Books N Things
Aunt Fannys Used Books
Attic Used Book Store
Buzz Buzz Books


Here's what happened... I was day dreaming about a logo... and though Aunt Fanny's Used Books would be a great used books store name, because I could have a great logo with an old auntie and her used books... big smile, big teeth, hair in a bun... fat butt. HA HA HA HA HA HA sitting in a rocking chair. Then I can also sell.... (you old timers already know where I'm going...) T-shirts!

Just a little reality check... my three little darling girls are now playing... Zombies! HA HA HA HA HA

Hey that's good.

How about Aunt Zombies Used Books!

HA HA HA HA HA

OK... I'll take you suggestions. ... let me think... was there more... hhhmmmmmmmmmmm

That's it for now, I'm goign to check out our friends in idaho to catch up with them!
have a great day!

The Nose Plug aka The Nostril Tampon

I have to share.

I'm home. It's 8:43pm and connected remotely to the office working on the sales reps open order report.

All of a sudden, I sneeze 2 times... and viola' My right nostril is completely filled with... what seems like concrete.

All of a sudden, there is no air going in... and no air coming out of the 'ole right nostril.... then.....
it starts to drip.

WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?

I MEAN.... if the blockage is so thick it can't be sucked down.... or blown out.... how the heck can it just start leaking out?

Well... I got things to do... and no one (but my kids to see me) So, I did what every other self respecting buzy parent would do... I made myself a nostril tampon.

Nose Tampon Instructions:
(advisory: The nose tampon is for temporary relief. If drippage persists, see medical attention)
First: get a tissue
Second: rip in 1/2 (or 1/4 depending on the size of your nostril)
Third: fold in 1/2 (any direction)
Forth: roll tissue into what you would judge is a comfortable width to insert in your nose
Fifth: Prepare to insert in nostril. Gently twist home made tampon into your nostril in the opposite direction in which the tampon was rolled
Sixth: Make sure you have at least 1 - 2 inches of tampon showing below nostril, I call this "the Handle" You can use this to yank the tampon out.

Caution: I do not advise that you use the nose tampon while eating and especially not while drinking coffee.

Extra Caution: Don't fall asleep with the nose tampon in your nose, because your drip may dry up and cause your tampon to adhere to the inside of your nostril thus causing extreme (albeit shorterm) pain when you attempt to remove the tampon

OK, I have to go talk to the kids. The dog is in their bedroom and they are trying to sleep... but someone slipped 'ole Rosie the wonder dog some Pizza... and now she has a little gas.

I got one fast asleep dog and three whining kids... crying about the stench in the bedroom...

I'm going in ... armed with "linen fresh" lysol! That should do it!

Have a great night

Hey Guys check this one out!

http://dysfunctional-office.blogspot.com

This is from our friends in idaho... I think the blog title says it all!

My office is a regular Peyton Place... but I can't write about it because it is so small... if any of the stories EVER got out... I would fear for my life... (I hesitate to even to put in writing...)
(... I'm whispering now.... there is a Razy-Cay erson-pay there.... shhhhhhhh)

Anyway, I thoroughly enjoyed this other blog and I urge you to dip in an dcheck it out... the first story is funny!
-----------------------------------------------------
Nothing much going on here.
I ran the gauntlet of kindergarten registration only to wait in hallway for 1 hour with my little numbered paper for the school nurse to review the immunization chart, which was unledgible. I was sent home (like a naughty chidl) to schedule my almost kindergartener for a physical and get a better copy of the vaccinations.

I went to St. Elizabeths and checked out their pre-school. (my last child entering school.. has one more year of preschool before entering the public school system) The only downside to St. Elizabeths is the uniform. --It's blue... and she hates blue. She won't wear it unless it is chocked full of flowers... because she thinks she looks like a boy--

That's it!
Enjoy your day!

Weekend Wrap Up

It is wrap up...right? not Rap up? .... Ra Ra Ra Raaaapppp up.

Anyway, bowling was great! MAJOR SHOUT OUT to my sister who... in addition to waiting out an incredibly long game of bowling wherein just my children gently rolled the ball down the alley... she HOOKED ME UP! That's right, friends family and others... She came back to my house... and really did me a solid.

First: She added the additional adult support in relighting my hot water heater... (it was very very windy the night before and apparently the pilot light got blown out.) OH yeah, you will read in the entry I wrote before this one.. that my kids used all the hot water, well when we returned from bowling.. there STILL WASN'T ANY HOT WATER.

So I set out to read the label on the front of the hot water heater... the one that says: How to light the pilot light on your hot water heater. Couple of things about the label. First of all.. the only graphics are graphics of people treating major burns and fire and other kids of warnings. AND... the thing is a little frightening... For instance, it explains how to turn off the pilot light and then says something like, "if you smell gas please refer to step (B) " which is
Step (B) EVACUATE THE BUILDING CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Anyway, I couldn't find ANY of the flashlights that I know are floating around the house, and my grill lighter was Kaput... so I went to the local Krauzers where they had Fire Place Matches (you know the ones that are like 12 inches long) and a crappy little cheap flashlight. I went to pay with my debit card (because I don't carry money 'cause then I'll spend it)... This establishment is a cash only convenience store... which makes it less convenient for me..

Anyway, after dumping out my purse and coming up with $4.24 in quarters, nickles, dimes and pennies... I returned home.

My sister had read the label, I had talked to both of my brothers who had basically explained the lighting process without any of the "call the fire department" warnings... so I felt a little better about it... and between my sis and I... we re-lit the pilot.

Today.... I am CHOCKED FULL OF HOT WATER!

The Second thing my sister did... she setup, organized and assisted the kids in planting the many flower seeds I purchased recently into the many strawberry containers I have been saving over the past year for this purpose.

Yes, I could have done that... but what I would not have done is... have each strawberry container neatly labeled with the type of flower that has been planted. The kids names are on a couple so that they can take ownership of those seeds... Really really cool.

In case you are interested: We used the clear plastic strawberry containers with lids. We lined the bottom with a square of paper bag that we nicked the edges so it would bed and come up on the sides. That will keep the dirt from falling out the big holes in the bottom and also let the water come out so it won't be too wet.

Then we watered and wrapped the whole thing in saran wrap (that's for the first 10 - 14 days of germination... you know, it creates a greenhouse effect.. )

Then I put them all on storage tub lids. That will protect the table from the water that comes out the bottom when they get watered.

Pretty cool eh?

So, the difference between what my sister did and what I would have done is... My planting would have been all willy nilly and I wouldn't have been able to plan to plant anything I would have just had to put the plants in the ground and hope for the best! HA HA HA HA AH AH

OK... that's about it.

I had a great weekend. Interesting weekend. Profitable... that's right, did I mention I went to the Book Barn and picked up some used science fiction books. I have some listed in my ebay store:.... http://stores.ebay.com/New-Jersey-Garage-Sale I sold one book out of my store over the weekend and another book I just picked up is on auction and already has a bid.

I LOVE BUYING AND SELLING BOOKS! If you have any books you have been thinking about donating... you can donate them to the "help support Rosie the Wonder Dog Fund" it's not a .org or tax deductible ..... YET! HA HA HA HA HA HA AH AH AH AH

Have a great day!
Enjoy the approaching Spring!

2 week sick free record ...... thwarted

That's right... first of all, take note: Thwarted, not your average word. I challenge you... ney, I dare you use this word in at least one written correspondance and/or one spoken.

Anyway, my middle child has a UT infection... thus far unconfirmed, however I did drop off the "sample" (which ... I must say, nothing brings joy to this childs face quicker then the words ... You get to pee in a cup)

Ahhhhh yes... my streak was broken by what I can only guess was soapy bath water. HA HA HA (it's a girl thing)

Anyway, we are going bowling today... and I must say... unless someone stops me I am going to proceed on my path of food debauchery and eat "BOWLING ALLEY FRENCH FRIES" 'cause that's what you do when you go bowling. OK OK, so you roll a couple of 10 pound balls down a freshly waxed lane... yeah yeah yeah... but do you look forward to that? nnnnooooooooooooooo it's the french fries! The French Fries are the only thing that can keep my mind off of the thought of what virus or bacteria lives in the finger holes of the public bowling balls! Bwaaaaaa haaaaaa haaaaaaaaa

You know, to hear some of my virus and bacteria rantings you would think I am a white tile clean freak! AND... you would be very very very far from the truth. I am in fact, quite at home with my families domestic virus and bacteria. The fact there have been days while filing the dishwasher that a particular cup or utensil actually stuck to the counter... attests to my ability to overlook our personal cultivations...

My problem is with the things that unknown persons introduce into the mix.

Here's what I'm talking about.

My 3 almost 4 year old sneezes into her hands and comes running to me with snot strings running from her little nostrils to her hands she holding out 10 inches from her face. I grab some tissues and I clean her up... If we are home, I send her off to the bathroom to wash her hands. If we are out I clean it up as best as I can until we see a washroom or until we get home... If we were in a bowling alley... I'd walk her to the bathroom and wash her hands..

My question... does everyone? How many snotty little fingers were stuck in those little holes?

OH, I'm grossing myself out! HA HA HA HA HA AH I hope my sister (who is going to meet us there) doesn't read this until AFTER the excursion! HA HA HA HA AH

OK, I gotta go take a shower... I had to wait for the hot water.. That's right. Two kids took showers today and now... no hot water.

HA HA HA HA HA

have a great day!

Revisiting... Visitation

My attorney emailed to let me know that my X has finally signed the order to have his wages deducted from his paycheck... and they changed the order to also include visitation for him every other weekend... where he will pick up the kids on a Saturday Morning and drop them off Sunday evening.

I told my attorney no problem, provided we had a couple of stipulations

#1) My kids won't be staying over night at his house if he is renting out rooms to his bar buddies... nope.
#2) If he gets called away to "emergency over time" at the jail, then he needs to pack up the kids and bring them back to me before he goes in to work.
#3) He can't drink alcohol while he has the kids and he can't smoke in the house or in the car with the kids
#4) He can't leave the kids with someone else for any reason unless he has to go to the emergency room

hhhmmmmmmm let's see... what else..... I think that was it...

Ooops I have to go...
Have a great day.

Hunt for a clean table at the Rat

Is it slander or liable if I say bad things about a fictional character? HA HA HA HA HA Well I don't care. I'm going to vent... and vent big!

As you may know, I am currently on day 10 of 3 healthy kids. I flirted with disaster by taking the kids to McDonald's on Sunday (the one in Dover that has a big huge PlayStation). I don't know when I became a germophobe... but I am.

There was a little girl there who was coughing all over the joint! At my kids as they walked by, on the slide as she went down... in the little elevated bubble car... cough cough cough. I didn't hear any worried mother chiding her for not covering her mouth... it was excruciating... but we made it through, and whatever bug that child had, has had 2 days in incubate in my kids... So far, so good.

Yesterday, my oldest had an allergist appointment (which was GREAT! Her smaller airways are not operating up to 78 percent! That's up from 50. That means, no permanent lung damage and we need to figure out how to keep her lungs clear... The Dr. finally gave her prednizone for 4 days, which cleared up the cough she had had for 4 months... but prednizone is a steroid and they don't like to give that to kids too often) Anyway, the kids were good at the allergist and I had promised them Chuck E Cheese (actually that's where we were headed on Sunday, but there it was so crowded that there wasn't any parking, so we settled on the McDonald's... temporarily settled... because my youngest - Hair Cut Henrietta... has a memory like an elephant, and as soon as we left the McDonald's, she was like.. you promised Chuck E Cheese... is that today!?)

So, off to see The Rat.

Tuesday evening is a great day and time to go see the Rat. I got parking right in front of the door... The only problem is that the staff is a little less attentive.. Of course, as in most restaurant type places, the staff are all under the age of 20... but this was really bad.
First we had to wait at the podium for someone to come and let us in (if you've never been they stamp your hands and your kids hands, they are supposedly supposed to check before you leave, but I've never been checked at this chuck e cheese) I ended up actually yelling... "HEY! Is there anyone there?" Because there wasn't ANYONE, but the handful of other guests milling about.

Finally, young Ichabod comes and let's us in (yup, Ichabod for obvious reasons... you can figure it out) I go to the counter and I order the family pack... comes with a pizza, 4 drinks and 100 tokens. That's when it all went down hill. The tables were a greasy mess.... I don't know if they hadn't wiped them down since Sunday... or if they decided that using butter was better than soap.. but they were disgusting.

However, I had already doomed us to whatever virus the child in McDonald's was carrying, so rather than start making a fuss again (after all, they hadn't brought out our pizza yet, I'm always a little leery about making a fuss when there is food coming... you know know what they might do it... ) Anyway, I picked the best table I could find, and plopped our stuff down.

The kids had a great time then our pizza arrived... we went into the ladies room to wash up before eating and there weren't any paper towels... again, my guess. They used their weekly quota on Sunday... because folks... it's TUESDAY, I can't imagine that there was a mad rush during the day and they simply ran out of paper towels!

That's ok... OK... I grabbed napkins and away we went, with clean quasi dry hands.

The pizza. uuuugggghhhhhhhhhh

Now, I've had the rat pie. It's usually about as good as a dominoes... which some people like (me and my kids) some people hate (my friend Mar) Granted it is obvious that they don't have Anthony & Son back there in the kitchen... but where ever their frozen things come from... it's usually pretty good. EXCEPT for yesterday. My Guess.... again, I think they used up a lot of supplies on Sunday... Because this pizza had no sauce. It was a half cooked pizza crust, and cheese... kind of like something you would cook at home as an experiment.

YES, I said experiment.

Once again, the kids like it. (of course they liked it... they would like chewing gum scraped off the sidewalk if I let them eat it!)

So... for the children, the experience was fantastic and everything they hoped and dreamed of... for me, more like a nightmare.

Afterwards, we went to the ice cream parlor... where with hands wrapped around homemade ice cream and the choice of cone, they all proclaimed that "Today was the best day ever"

Good for me! I am going to remind them again and again how much fun they had while I am nursing them back to health... from what ever bug or virus I am sure will rear it's ugly head by this weekend!

And that... is my Rant about the Rat.

OH, I got a new camera... so, you know what that means... right? MORE PICTURES!

I don't think I told you that my old camera was broken.. but I suspect it had something to do with my youngest who's middle name is Mischief. My fault, I let her use it... usually when I am supervising, so she probably just felt like she could play with it... riiiiiiggggghhhhttttttt.... anyway, the new camera is 100% off limits... and it's NICE! I can't wait to take some great pictures!

OH OH OH OH OH OH OH

I forgot to tell you. REAL QUICK

My oldest (1st grade) was really good in class, so her teacher let her pick some things out of the prize basket. She came home with 2 tattoo's. She put the butterfly tattoo on her cheek and the heart on her forearm.

She came home from school yesterday and told me that... are you ready for this!?! Yesterday was class pictures! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA AH AH

I said, WHAT? She said, Yup, they took our pictures, and the lady had me cross my arms and tilt my head so you could see the tattoo and my dimple.

I said, WHAT? -- too stunned to say anything else.

Well, I didn't see any notice come through, maybe it was something else... who knows. Once I thought about it... I realized that it would be one heck of a cute picture! and TRULY..

OK. Gots to go!
Have a good one!
As a special treat to you and yours... I'm going to spell check this entry! (your welcome B)

Oh, I heard it through the grapevine..

Let me preface this report, by explaining that I heard this from my friend... who heard it from her boyfriend, who bumped into an old friend... who had bumped into my ex-husband at his favorite watering hole.

Having said that... I really didn't hear anything that sounded like something I wouldn't actually have heard if I had been sitting next to the original conversation. Sad but true

Let me just set the mood.

I'm not sure what day of the week it was when this conversation occurred... but my X still gets out of work at 3:30... so he would be in the bar by 4:00pm.

Sooo.... let's say the first Vodka Orange Splash of Club goes down by 4:05.... we would find him finally slowing down around 4:30 with drink number 4.... He's getting loud. He's in full "woe is me" mode.

IN walks... "old friend", fresh off his own divorce, temporarily living with his parents, he sidles up to my X and after 5 - 10 minutes of catching up and a round of drinks... the story unfolds.

(This is the part, where I urge you to either sit down... or stop drinking your coffee... because I wouldn't want to be responsible for you spitting your coffee all over your keyboard and monitor)

Upon hearing that this "old friend" is living with his parents, my X informs him that.... he is renting out rooms in his house on a month to month basis. He can have one of the rooms for $700.00 a month... He has 4 people currently renting, but 2 or more are moving out so he will have an availability at the end of the month. (but wait it gets better....)

He said that the reason he was renting his out out was being he was paying his ex-wife 3500.00 a month and every time they had an argument he ends up paying more money!

$3500!

That ontop of the cool Million he told everyone I got when I divorced him... would put me on easy street... (don't let me start daydreaming about that money... because I might just go out and buy a lottery ticket... )

Yup. I think the friend of my friend, indicated that the old friend decided to decline the offer of a room at the chalet slage' which is a good thing.. because I would have urged him to run... not walk... back to his little free room at his parents house..

My friend, however, was infuriated... (she is fiercely protective) and she said, "If you don't do it... I will." I said, "Do what?" She replied, "take out a pull page ad in the local paper down there and put the record straight... name names... list lies... basically let everyone know what a jerk..."

We were both silent.

Who believes him?

Even if the whole population of the town he lives in... believes his lies... I don't care. I dont' live there and ... I have all of you... who know the truth.

Have a great day!